The ultimate challenge is always fear. In some shape or form, it locks us up in our own invisible prison. We are all living a story, and it might be a good one too, for a long time — until it blows up in our face, or we hit a bump in the road big enough to shake our reality; big enough to stop us from believing any more of the bullshit we kept telling ourselves. If we are lucky that is.
You see, our truth is not a story. Any story not serving us is not a true one, and any life not serving our amazingness is not one worthy of telling. But we can change, right? Not that simple. This is when things becomes tricky …
Whenever we try to change anything, especially something we have believed in for a long time — BAM!— fear comes knocking. The fear of change will knock on our door, and I urge you to invite it in. Facing the true fear of change will set you free, but it will require you to take full responsibility for not only the obvious feeling of not wanting to change what is causing your fear, but all of its relatives too. And it has many; the fear of failure, of ridicule, of being alone, of standing alone, and the fear of rejection; the fear of not having a community, and the ultimate fear of them all, of dying.
THAT is the real bullshit, as you cannot die, not really. We are eternal beings, and death is the ultimate deception — another untruth.
Roxburgh appeared as three iconic characters over the next three years: he played Sherlock Holmes in 2002’s The Hound of the Baskervilles, Holmes’s nemesis Professor Moriarty in 2003’s The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and Count Dracula in 2004’s Van Helsing.
What is stopping you from being YOU?
Let us take a look at the fears that seem like the heavy bolts on our doors.
Behind a fear is a truth. Our fears represent the gateway to that truth. It is like a locking mechanism that has been put in place to secure the truth to stay hidden, elegantly guarding our false beliefs. The subconscious mind is heavily protected, and fear has many faces.
But what is real is never fear-based, it is only our perceived fear of change.
Let’s look at the different fears that change represents. They might give you a few ideas as to what your inner ‘locks’ are hiding.
Fear Of Change
Familiarity gives comfort, and we perceive comfort as safe. It has to do with security and protection. The misconception lies in that we somehow need to be protected from this world, from our very lives. Which of course, is not so. It seems true, as we look around and soak in everything presented to us. But we are better than that.
The fear of change will keep us from growing, evolving and thriving. It will keep us enslaved to all of our fears and old programming. It is the ‘mothership’ of all fears, and that is why it is so hard to let go of. Most of the time we know what is good for us, but we resist doing it.
Blame the fear of change.
You might feel that your relationship is not fulfilling, or your job is hurting your health and not aligned with your passion — but you still stay put. Had you known how to keep going on your own and what tomorrow would bring, you might have left the dysfunctional relationship years ago.
Fear of Being Alone
Aloneness. We often see this as a disempowering state. It brings up the feeling of not being good enough, the belief that being alone is not enough. Fearing being alone means you believe that by being you only, you are less. You might doubt yourself, your self worth, and your ability to make your own decisions.
The fact is, when you are in fear of being alone, you are not really fearing aloneness, as it is natural to be alone at times. You are fearing your own insecurity. Yet it is natural to feel good in one’s own company, secure and safe.
We are programmed from birth to rely on others — parents, teachers, older siblings. But a healthy community is created for support, from the place of self-confidence, never from the place of fear. Sharing and working together is not the same as relying on someone from the fear of being alone, or not enough. When you change this false belief, you will find that you are being surrounded with more people that feel like family. Old friends might leave, and that is okay. Everything is okay when you cut to the chase and set yourself free.
Fear of Standing Alone
This is the energy that comes from the belief that you need others to validate your opinions and perspectives. You become afraid of speaking your own naked truth. “What if no one agrees with me? What if they think I am crazy or strange?” This programming will keep anyone petrified of going against any common belief.
I know many who know this energy. “Who do you think you are? Who are you to speak up and question anything?” Being an outsider is the ultimate rejection.
Questioning your own life, your relationship with appointed truths and beliefs might bring up this fear — but it is a gift. Once you detect it, you know you need to break free. And, by revealing your own truth, you will never be alone. On the contrary, you will be drawn to like-minded souls that share your sense of freedom.
Fear of Ridicule
Sadly, as children, we might have been bullied by classmates or ridiculed by our parents or other family members. A child has a completely different perspective than an adult and will put up a wall of defence towards anything that feels uncomfortable — against anything that does not resonate with the soul. At that point, the mask is born — one of many — and as it is worn, our true self shrinks a little. And, as we grow older, we can later hide behind a mask of more fear.
Fear of Separation
From birth we need to feel connected to our mother. Anything that has disturbed that natural connection will leave us vulnerable to fear of separation. Not being breastfed, having a distant mother, or being a part of a larger group of siblings might leave you to feel disconnected. Later on, separation from family, not feeling a part of a group of friends, or simply not feeling part of society itself will enhance this type of underlying fear. Not feeling that you fit in will bring up that old wound of disconnection.
‘Separate’ is not a good word; it tells a story of being outside of security, when our real security is on the inside. The truth is that we are all separated from each other, as individuals, yet we stand together as one.
Fear of Failure
Who told you there was such a thing? Failure is a misused word, often thrown at us when things do not turn out as we would have liked them to. The concept of ‘failing’ is the opposite of ‘winning’, or not succeeding in accomplishing a particular task or goal. Our society has moulded this ‘win or lose’ mentality, which is hurting every soul that buys into it. Not succeeding, as in things turning out differently than desired, is simply a lesson we can learn from. Without those experiences, there would be no growth, no evolution, and no eagerness to continue to expand.
No master has ever gotten around the lesson of so-called failure. Not only that, the lesson of failure is highly valued.
Have you ever heard someone say: “If the seemingly tragic situation had not happened, I would not know what I know today. I would not change a thing. It has made me who I am today.”
You have been led to believe that hitting the right spot every time is what makes you a winner, when it is the direct opposite. Being able to adjust, to redirect our efforts, and to learn about ourselves is where success is truly found.
Being fearless of the outcome is the key. The true failure is in being too afraid to try.
Fear of Rejection
There is no rejection, only redirection. This is an easy bullshit to call. When you feel secure in your own place, and when you clear the old conditioning of rejection, you see the magical directions that the Universe is showing you.
When one door closes, another one opens, or; when a door closes, two windows open.
I love those old sayings. They tell us that no matter if it seems that we are being rejected, it only means that another path is open for us, and it is always a better one. But we have been led to believe that being rejected by others is another tint of failure. It’s the same old not-being-good-enough topic. For example, when a boyfriend/girlfriend turns his/her back on you, it is easy to feel that you are the one not being ‘good enough’. It is what you were taught.
But what if, in reality, it means that there is a better way for you? Someone or something more aligned to you? What if it means you have something to learn by choosing another path?
Being under the spell of the fear of rejection will trap you into believing you have to change something about yourself and keep on knocking on that same door until it opens. Once you trust the path of life, and the flow and directions presented to you, the fear of rejection will fade.
Fear of Success
Yes, there is such a thing! It’s hard to imagine for many, I am sure.
The fear of success is connected to the energy of self-sabotage and what we will do to keep ourselves from succeeding. The fear of change shows itself again, together with the fear of being alone, being rejected, feeling different, and every other fear you can think of.
Why is this you might think? It simply boils down to the fact that succeeding will bring with it some major shifts. You might have to move if you get the new job. If you get healthy, you will no longer want to stay on the couch with your mother. Your boyfriend might leave you if you finally do what you always wanted to do, and are good at it. Or you might come to feel you are not valued for who you are and you might leave some of your old friendships.
Fear of Pain
We hate pain; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual pain. It’s one of the purest experiences there is — it’s all about truth, the compass of our inner terrain, and we hate it! We have been conditioned to believe that it needs to be numbed down, shut off, avoided, and that we need to look the other way. It is even looked at as a weakness.
Being in pain is not considered to be a cool thing, and certainly not showing it. Big boys don’t cry,remember? Most people will do anything to get out of pain. It’s even been reinforced through the marketing of Big Pharma’s flagship — the magic pill — the pride of the tribe. “Pop a pill and feel better. Make it an easy fix. Let us show you the way out of misery.” A whole gigantic industry keeping us numbed down from our fear of pain (that, and death.)
However, when we realise that pain is inevitable but suffering is not, a whole new trust in God and creation opens. It is natural to be happy, healthy and spiritually connected. It is natural to feel pain when the body is speaking to us, and it is natural to feel sadness after a loss. We should feel fear when a tiger comes towards us. We should get upset about a wrongdoing. We should feel pain when our body is out of alignment. It is all called LIFE!
To even for a nanosecond believe that we are supposed to artificially numb our pain is a lie — a big fat lie. Listen to your pain; it comes with valuable information. It is trying to get your attention for a reason. It needs to heal. Pain is simply a sign of acids and toxins, traumas, emotions and nerve signals. A healthy body does not signal pain. So, if you are being poked by your dear body, listen and take action. There is always a cause for every effect. For us to be able to live in a pain-free body, we need to let it heal and restore.
Fear of Dying
“Death”. Just reading this word can trigger fear and anxiety. I will be bold and say the majority of people on the earth today have some kind of fear associated with dying; if not for death itself, then for the loss and grief that comes with it. To grieve the loss of our dear ones is natural, and a healthy emotion. It shows we have compassion and humility. But fearing death itself, and making it control the life that is here and now, is holding us back from exploring it fully. So much joy is lost.
I see the fear of death as the largest sign of our disconnection from God, and the biggest sign that we have been bullied into thinking we are not a part of a magnificent creation. Sure, our body will die in the sense that it will change form, but our soul will never die. We are merely spiritual beings having a human experience in a physical body. Everything is energy, and energy does not die — it changes form.
By believing that death is horrible, that it is dark and scary, we are kept brainwashed to be the perfect candidate for fear propaganda. And as long as we, the masses, experience fear on a large scale, anything can be implemented into the reality that will save us from dying.
We will support wars and stand in line for an injection of anything, if we are told it will save our lives. I am not saying you should not do anything to stay alive — that is natural, an instinct, and a healthy one — but to blindly let any bullshit alter your body and your state of mind is not healthy, and should not be considered a form of freedom.
Did God make a mistake? Do we even think about that? Were we not supposed to be able to think, live in joy, health and take care of ourselves, just as we are? Are we simply a weak, fearful and lost species? I don’t believe so. Quite the opposite. There is never anything to fear but fear itself. It is a part of an old programming and it can be reprogrammed, just like anything else. But calling ‘bullshit’ takes time, and digging into all aspects of it takes persistence.
Roll up your sleeves, allow the mess to unfold, and get ready to look fear straight in the eye. We need to cut the crap. Life is change, and no change comes from holding on to what is. It’s time to allow what will be.
Once you become fearless, life becomes limitless.